(part 1)
Alright - I have not been keeping up as it seems that interest in this blog is low. Still, there are a few movies i do wish to write about & will continue to torture you with my abuse of words. I have thrown out the list I was planning on using and will be posting from the head/heart. Any complaints will find you in a shallow grave with a horde of angry badgers tied to your limbs. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
In the 1970's a series of Spanish zombie films came to light that actually covered an area missed by other zombie flicks - the fact that the eyes rot out of a skull. The series is four movies long and gives a scattered account of Knights Templars who stole the secrets of immortality. This review will be of the first two movies as they are available on a double-sided DVD. The first movie is Tombs of the Blind Dead (video link)(sorry, it is in Spanish & not subtitled) deals with the awakening of angry Knights Templar zombies who used human sacrifices to maintain a semblance of life. Thing is they are really angry because they are nothing more than animated skeletons held together with the remnants of cartilage and skin. Oh, yeah, and they are blind (duh!).
(Pretty creepy looking. Notice beards are eternal.)
The movie has two long time friends who used to experiment in lesbianism (which has NOTHING to do with the story but is in there anyway) together going on a trip with some strange man (he just appears, asks them on a trip and does little else). On the way one of the girls (the sexy brunette) gets annoyed with her friend (skanky blonde/red-head) and the man and jumps off the train. This leads her to some ruins where she decides to camp. While the blonde and man continue their trip (some friend she is) the brunette starts a fire, plays some music & teases men in the audience by undressing yet having her appealing form blocked by the flames of the fire she set (really, the flames seem to know what they are doing when blocking the view). What the brunette does not know is that her presence has awakened the Knights Templars! First we see some not-so-great looking zombie/skeletal hands push through the soil then get much higher quality (for the 1970's) zombies. The Templars are wearing their hooded robes and donning their various weapons; they are dressed to kill. Thing is they can not see who they are going to kill (which sucks for them). Oh, no, they instead shamble around and home-in on the sounds of their victim. It seems that the cartilage & bones of the inner ear last a long time because they have amazing hearing. First her heartbeat and breathing lead them to her but once they fondle her screams of terror make their hunt much easier. Sadly the best looking person in the film dies and leaves us with crap for eye-candy.
~ Now some may be asking if I am being fair to the women with my descriptions so I will post pics of both for you to decide: ~
(Pretty, yes?)
(Skanky, no?)
~ Does THAT settle the matter? ~
Anyway...while the yummy one is being attacked by zombies the skank and her man fart around, find out that the ruins are cursed and decide to wait until tomorrow to find the friend. {Yup, my upset friend is alone in a cursed area where people die or go missing frequently...I think I'll be selfish & enjoy this man instead of worrying about her.} Well, the skank and man set out the next morning on horseback to find the girl. What they find is her nibbled on corpse! (It's the 70's & Spain - they did not do graphic disembowelment much then). The body is taken in for an autopsy & reanimates...then gets destroyed.
Well, the skank & guy return to the scene to find a sleazy guy & his broad. They do not get along well. As sleazy is being a thug the Templars attack. Few survive. The skank gets to a train with the hopes of escape. Oddly enough the Templars rode their horses (which are eyeless once their hoods are removed) and catch the train before it leaves. The passengers and crew are unprepared for the newest boarders. Well, when the train finally arrives at the station there is only one living being aboard...the skank. She is insane from the horror and can't tell people that the train is filled with zombies.
The second movie, Return of the Blind Dead, is a bit better. It takes place in a town called Barzano. There the legends are still known yet not held as fact. So, of course when they have a little festival they are unprepared for the Templars return. This time the Knights Templars are seeking to continue their bloody rites. Yes, breasts are exposed and then stabbed. Zombies ride down anyone foolish enough to still have a beating heart. This movie also gives more details of these Knights Templars. It tells of how the Knights got the secrets, how they conducted the rituals and how they got punished by the villagers. A nice sequel to the first even if some things are a bit "off".
Honestly,. though they are limited by the times they are still well worth watching. Aside form a few of the prop skeleton parts the zombies look quite eerie. They don't moan or give "one-liners" - they just come at you with a patience only the dead can have. If you enjoy zombies or old horror you would be wise to check this out. Be warned - the acting in the first is dreadful. If you think Spanish soap-operas are bad then you haven't suffered. Still, even if you use the above link & watch it without subtitles you can still enjoy the Templars. The second one is better all around. The third & fourth stray a bit as the Templars go ship-board. They are good but the movies are just not quite the same. I would not say to miss them - just realize they are more "ghost ship" movies than sword wielding zombie movies.
A little trivia - As Spain does not like anything that makes it look bad or reminds people of bad things from it's past the Knights Templars in the movies are NOT Spanish. Instead they are supposed to be Anglo-European/Germanic (or anything BUT Spanish). It was a small concession the director made to give us these wonderful zombie films.
Please check out my friend and amazing artist - Allen Jaeger - collection of miniatures. There are several which he converted into a TOMBS of the BLIND DEAD army (HERE). Also see his other art at his personal site (HERE). Fans of horror and industrial/rock/metal will enjoy what he does so very well.
Well, the skank & guy return to the scene to find a sleazy guy & his broad. They do not get along well. As sleazy is being a thug the Templars attack. Few survive. The skank gets to a train with the hopes of escape. Oddly enough the Templars rode their horses (which are eyeless once their hoods are removed) and catch the train before it leaves. The passengers and crew are unprepared for the newest boarders. Well, when the train finally arrives at the station there is only one living being aboard...the skank. She is insane from the horror and can't tell people that the train is filled with zombies.
The second movie, Return of the Blind Dead, is a bit better. It takes place in a town called Barzano. There the legends are still known yet not held as fact. So, of course when they have a little festival they are unprepared for the Templars return. This time the Knights Templars are seeking to continue their bloody rites. Yes, breasts are exposed and then stabbed. Zombies ride down anyone foolish enough to still have a beating heart. This movie also gives more details of these Knights Templars. It tells of how the Knights got the secrets, how they conducted the rituals and how they got punished by the villagers. A nice sequel to the first even if some things are a bit "off".
Honestly,. though they are limited by the times they are still well worth watching. Aside form a few of the prop skeleton parts the zombies look quite eerie. They don't moan or give "one-liners" - they just come at you with a patience only the dead can have. If you enjoy zombies or old horror you would be wise to check this out. Be warned - the acting in the first is dreadful. If you think Spanish soap-operas are bad then you haven't suffered. Still, even if you use the above link & watch it without subtitles you can still enjoy the Templars. The second one is better all around. The third & fourth stray a bit as the Templars go ship-board. They are good but the movies are just not quite the same. I would not say to miss them - just realize they are more "ghost ship" movies than sword wielding zombie movies.
A little trivia - As Spain does not like anything that makes it look bad or reminds people of bad things from it's past the Knights Templars in the movies are NOT Spanish. Instead they are supposed to be Anglo-European/Germanic (or anything BUT Spanish). It was a small concession the director made to give us these wonderful zombie films.
Please check out my friend and amazing artist - Allen Jaeger - collection of miniatures. There are several which he converted into a TOMBS of the BLIND DEAD army (HERE). Also see his other art at his personal site (HERE). Fans of horror and industrial/rock/metal will enjoy what he does so very well.
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